Air Europa...see air travel in a whole new light...

Travelling with Air Europa has been an experience.

I just got back to Paris. Maybe I'm bad-tempered because I've left Hamden and am feeling so sad without them. Maybe I'm jetlagged. Maybe I'm just knackered. Guilty to all of the above. But guys, never EVER have I travelled with such a crappy airline in my life and I'd like to think I'm a fairly seasoned traveller.

I already told you about the Paris-JFK legg (see "Hi From New England" post, 7th August)...so now for the return trip. It was even worse. I swear. Let's start with the check-in. Enfin bref, 'check-in' is a mighty grand name for five desks with bored looking staff sprawled across them and hordes of people in queues with little direction getting nowhere fast. Far more alert to gossip between themselves than to their passengers. Yes, at a check-in you're supposed to register electronically and then check in your luggage should you have any, right? If you only have hand luggage, then once electronically registered you can go and get scanned and hit the shops...huh! Toooooo simple! And much too intelligent. First off, and remember we are at JFK International Airport, terminal 4 ('yuck' said a friend when she knew that was from where I would land and take off), there was NO electronic check-in possible. Secundo, you know when you check in you put your case on a conveyor belt to be weighed and off it goes? Teehee! Not with Air Europa. Too advanced. No, no. You put your case on SCALES and then you lug it off again and have to drag it to ANOTHER queue for 'luggage drop off'. A disagreeable old git tells you where to put it and then waves you away. he was so rude I wanted to slap him. If you don't speak Spanish, you're up the creek without a paddle, because ALL announcements on the AE tanoy system at JFK are in Spanish. Oh, no, I lie. There was one in English but I didn't understand a word of it. Me and four other non-Spanish speakers actually laughed, trying to interpret what the gobbledy-gook could possibly mean...

Whereas the trip to JFK had been without aircon, the trip back was with so much of it you could literally SEE it puffing out of the vents just under the overhead lockers. It was very cold indeed. I asked why. The answer, said accusingly and in very broken English by a hostess who didn't want to speak anything but Spanish: 'you asked to sit near the emergency exit. It's the coldest part of the plane.' 'Well, I thought the door would be closed in transit,' I replied, totally dead pan. She just stared at me. 'Or maybe the draught comes from a keyhole or a catflap?' I asked. She just walked away.

As I was taking my seat, a steward came up to me and said something in Spanish. 'No hablo espagnol' I said, wondering if I'd even got that right. Instead of switching to English (we were leaving JFK after all), he just repeated himself in Spanish, shouting this time. 'I am not deaf. I speak English, French, understand Roumanian, and have basic Italian, a tiny bit of survival German...any one of those will do,' I shouted back. I still don't know what he wanted.

The food, which was bad on the way to the US was EXACTLY the same on the way back. Pasta and suspicious meat that passed as chicken. I didn't want any, anyway. Alcoholic drink? Yes, a vodka please. Price list thrust under my nose...excuuuuuuuse me??? 690 euros for the ticket in the first place and you won't give me a bloody vodka???? $3 for headphones if you want to watch a film nd you don't have your own. What a nerve. I sank into a book. Fancied a newspaper. All in....guess....no prizes coz I'm not in the mood.

Plane announcements in Spanish except for the end when one of the hostesses decided to help we non-Hispanic out. I have no idea what she said. It was incomprehensible.

Half an hour before landing, my blanket was taken away. Why? Can't the plane land if I have a blanket on my knees? Lucky I had my woollen scarf around me...

Nice, new planes, overstuffed with people, obviously with added seats as the windows don't align... Film choice old hat. The most recent was Marley and Me and I didn't fancy that coz I knew it'd set me off crying again. Animal films always decimate my resolve to stay tough.

Return Madrid-Orly...after 14h travelling. No tea, no coffee, no sandwich, no nuffink unless you fork out for it. Tiny plane. Vomit Comet. But lucky I didn't need to...no sickbag again. Only the magazine for dutyfree in the pocket in front of me. Clearly Air Europa are out to make money. Zero customer service, zero politeness, zero commercial sense. High prices. They are certainly NOT low cost but the quality most certainly is.

I just tried to leave a 'comment' on the site I was sent to complain on...you should see what people say about AE...shame I didn't look beforehand. There's a lesson. People complain about lost baggage, about damaged cases and bags, unannounced delays sometimes up to 10h+, rudeness from staff and that's just to start. Go see: http://www.airlinequality.com/Forum/air_europa.htm

Shame my comment vanished after being told it was 'erronious'...probably just as well. I wasn't very flattering, but I shall copy and paste this post instead. I'm sure they'll be delighted. On the ground, AE is disorganised at best and up above those fluffy clouds, they are downright negligent.

In conclusion, would I ever travel by Air Europa again? Naaaaaah. I'd much rather have root canal....

Comments

[Little Me]

What a nightmare! Reminds me of my last flight on queasyjet when I was last on to the last flight from Paris to Liverpool before Christmas. The only seat they had left had been covered in baby sick. I refused to get off the plane, not wanting to spend Christmas with my awful landlady of the time and so held them up while they covered the vomit with sand and then thick plastics bags. Unfortunately not thick enough to hide the feel of now cold baby puke. Bleurgh.

And did I get any compensation? Oh no. Though they did give me a free drink - much needed.